billicious (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} billicious) wrote,@ 2009-04-24 10:31:00 |
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A Facebook conversation I recently had:
Bill:
I'm going to be in the neighborhood of Five Guys today (in theory), and would like to know what you would suggest getting, since you're such a fun and I don't want my cornhole sodomized with a barbed-wire-wrapped baseball bat.
-Mick
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It is best to take Five Guys very seriously, but luckily ordering there is quite simple.
The rules:
First off, they have Small burgers and Big burgers. The Small burgers are still sizable.
Next, you must decide whether to have cheese or bacon added. This will add slightly to the cost, but the bacon is well worth it.
Third, the rest of the condiments are free, and excellent. I like mushrooms, fried onions, lettuce, tomato, ketchup and extra mustard.
In theory, one could get a hot dog instead of a hamburger, but no one is history has ever done this.
The next choice has to do with fries. You can choose between cajun and regular. Get the cajun. While at the register, look to the wall on the left, and it will tell you which town in Idaho the potatoes came from. My favorite is when they're from "Rexburg, Idaho" but opinions vary.
You will be given a choice of sizing for fries. You might be tempted to spend $.50 more to get a large fry. By doing this, you will signal the employees that you are a completely worthless n00b, for the seasoned veteran knows that a small fry is a huge portion, and that for good measure they throw in another heaping scoop into the paper bag.
The only appropriate way to enjoy this feast is to sit at a table in their red and white checkered dining room, and bask in the glory of countless reviews posted to the walls. These tales will one day be collected together into a tome, much like the venerable Bible, to document the times that man walked among God, disguised as hamburger meat.
So let it be done.
Bill:
I'm going to be in the neighborhood of Five Guys today (in theory), and would like to know what you would suggest getting, since you're such a fun and I don't want my cornhole sodomized with a barbed-wire-wrapped baseball bat.
-Mick
------------
It is best to take Five Guys very seriously, but luckily ordering there is quite simple.
The rules:
First off, they have Small burgers and Big burgers. The Small burgers are still sizable.
Next, you must decide whether to have cheese or bacon added. This will add slightly to the cost, but the bacon is well worth it.
Third, the rest of the condiments are free, and excellent. I like mushrooms, fried onions, lettuce, tomato, ketchup and extra mustard.
In theory, one could get a hot dog instead of a hamburger, but no one is history has ever done this.
The next choice has to do with fries. You can choose between cajun and regular. Get the cajun. While at the register, look to the wall on the left, and it will tell you which town in Idaho the potatoes came from. My favorite is when they're from "Rexburg, Idaho" but opinions vary.
You will be given a choice of sizing for fries. You might be tempted to spend $.50 more to get a large fry. By doing this, you will signal the employees that you are a completely worthless n00b, for the seasoned veteran knows that a small fry is a huge portion, and that for good measure they throw in another heaping scoop into the paper bag.
The only appropriate way to enjoy this feast is to sit at a table in their red and white checkered dining room, and bask in the glory of countless reviews posted to the walls. These tales will one day be collected together into a tome, much like the venerable Bible, to document the times that man walked among God, disguised as hamburger meat.
So let it be done.
